It wasn't meant to be this way
by Mashiara91
Summary: Kurogane and Fai grew up in the same orphanage, "each other" is all they had. Rules, society, people - none of it mattered. But when Fai finds himself in love with the significantly younger Kurogane, he can't help but think: "It wasn't meant to be this way..." Rated M for Yaoi lemons. De-anon from the clampkink meme.


It wasn't meant to be this way, Fai thought for the one millionth time as he heard the familiar knock on the door followed closely by cheers of excited kids.

"Kurogane"

"Kurogane is here!"

"Fai-san, Fai-san, it's Kurogane! He's here."

Their words echoed in his heart with an elation that only one person could ever cause. Kurogane. Kurogane. Kurogane. Only in the privacy of his own mind does he relish in the man's full name, the elegance of it, the strength behind every syllable. He put on his best smile, shaking his head to clear his thoughts. Sometimes he has to wonder if he isn't the real teenager in this relationship.

Fai tried not to run towards the door as the kids had done. He put away his account books and set his glasses aside. Don't run, he had to remind himself, even as his legs seemed to lurch forward on their own accord. He could hear the Kurogane's deep voice and tried not to squeal like one of the younger kids. When he got to the entryway, Fai was momentarily stunned. It was the image of tough guy Kurogane affectionately rustling Sakura's hair, smiling down at the Li twins and softly punching the younger of the two on the arm. When Kurogane bent down to pick up little Sue, she nuzzled into the teen's shirt, giggling as he cradled her. The sight was enough to take Fai's breath away.

Not to mention the leather: tight black leather pants that hugged his thighs, leather jacket with red streaks highlighting his chest, studded wrist bands and choker, and sunglasses… 'cause you know, it's sunny outside in the middle of December.

Fai finally managed to find his voice, "You're early, Kuro-Santa!"

Whatever innocent smiles Kurogane had been directing at the kids were immediately replaced by a deeper, hungrier smile. Add the positively devilish glint to the teen's red eyes, and Fai had to look away before his reaction turned from cute to entirely indecent.

"Merry Christmas, idiot." Kurgoane barked at him, with a grin that should have been banned in the presence of so many young kids. Damn, how long had it been?

Fai braved a look at the teen's face. When had he gotten so big? And so much more….

"You've grown."

"Yeah, that's what happens when you're a normal person. You still look like you did 10 years ago."

"Angry Kuro-kid?" Fai smiled his usual teasing smile and sauntered forward, trying to focus on the word games they were playing as opposed to the height difference between them or the width of Kurogane's shoulders or the—

"No, it's better like this," said Kurogane, closing the distance between them in one stride. The height difference wasn't that much but it was enough, enough to make Fai's face turn red all the way to his ears. Kurogane smirked, "Much better like this. I'm definitely going to enjoy this."

Of course, neither of the two paid any mind to little Sue, still squirming in Kurogane's arms, or to any of the other kids for that matter. Some were looking away shyly, others staring up in confusion, and many more soon losing interest to shout among themselves.

Kurogane's breath was hot against Fai's skin and the blond was trying very hard to get his brain to work long enough to get a comeback.

Too late.

The leather scrunched, Kurogane's fingers were suddenly reaching up and it took all of Fai's self-control to keep all the old demons at bay. The touch was light, barely holding a few strands of the blonde's hair.

"Your hair's different now," said the taller of the two, softly caressing the strands. His other hand reached up to pull a lock out of Fai's face. "I like it like this." Kurogane's smile was soft, barely an upwards twitch to his lips, but his eyes were full of words that melted Fai's heart. It was almost painful.

Of course, it was in that moment that little Sue decided to remind everyone of her presence. Besides, she wanted to play with Fai-mommy's hair too! Unfortunately, her version of 'play' was more on the painful yanking side.

Fai yelped. By the time he'd gotten the little girl to let go of his hair, the moment was lost. Well, never lost, but forcefully put on hold by the nagging voices of excited children. The Li twins wanted Kurogane to give them a martial arts lesson. Fai made sure to have another boy join them and quietly told Kurogane that the boy needed a few tips on how to deal with bullies. Several of the older girls gave Kurogane gifts and trinkets with deeply flushed faces. Even Sakura ran over, innocent as ever, and urged him to try out her Christmas cake. Fai watched him smile and eat it gladly, though only Fai could tell that it was taking all of the teen's willpower not to pull a face at the little girl.

Kurogane was one of the few who still made it a point to visit the orphanage years after he'd been successfully adopted. He still remembered how lonely the routine at the orphanage could get sometimes, and if a little visit could make so many of the kids a little bit happier, then he was all in. Of course, there was also the idiot. He was never going to leave the idiot, no matter how stupid the older man got. There was just no denying what they had, even if they tried…which they did, that first year after Kurogane's adoption.

Kurogane still shuddered to think about it. Just when he'd thought he was scot free, 'cause no one in their right mind would adopt an 11 year old, in they'd come. Kurogane had just started to discover hormones… hormones that seemed to go into overdrive when his best, albeit older, friend was in sight. Who cares if the idiot was 8 years older than him? They still understood each other so perfectly. Kurogane never wanted to leave Fai, he was the closest person to him since his parents had died, he trusted him, respected him, and enjoyed every second of the 7 years they'd spent growing up together, needing each other (no matter how much he tried to deny it at first). And the day he was meant to go to his new home across the country, Kurogane had fearlessly screamed at the idiot, yelling "I Love You" and "I want us to always be together." Fai hadn't returned any of his calls after that and Yuuko always made excuses for the idiot's absence. Finally, after the one millionth letter, Fai's notepad of a reply read, "I don't want to talk to you anymore. It wasn't meant to be this way."

Kurogane, being as stubborn at 12 as he was now, immediately bought a ticket with all the allowance money he'd saved up from his rich adoptive family, forged the dad's signature, and went off. He'd looked a few things up in their time apart and was determined to get his Fai. Of course, it didn't help that his adoptive sisters were as lesbian as it could get. Within a matter of days, Kurogane was pulling the older man into the shed behind the orphanage and kissing him full on the mouth.

That was four years ago, and they'd maintained their 'relationship' since. They sent letters, emails, comics, birthday presents, anything and everything they wanted to share. It took Fai longer to open up, but by the time Kurogane flew in after another year of being away, all pretext and hesitation flew out the window. After Kurogane turned 14, they started to venture into murkier territories…or in other words, 'sexual' territories.

And tonight to was going to take all of Fai's supposed maturity not to abandon all sense to the wind and just pound the teen like there was no tomorrow. It wasn't meant to be this way. They were brothers and they were everything to each other. Maybe that's when the lines had blurred completely. But could he really blur it that much? Fai tried to think of other things. He put the little ones to bed after reading three fairytales using different voices for each character. He went over the accounts again and called Yuuko up to make sure she was working on getting them better government funding and not just getting drunk. Of course, he found her drunk. She had left most of the orphanage administration to him and moved to the capital to focus on her other business ventures once he was old enough to take over completely. After she legally adopted him, things got a lot easier. Besides, Fai was never going to be adopted for real, not after what happened the first time. He tried not to think about that, but as was his habit, thinking about the past was always better than thinking about now. Now was so much more complicated, which was saying a lot, all things considered.

"Oi! Get your head out of your ass."

Fai barely caught himself. Since when did Kurogane curse so badly? When did his voice become so… deep? "Kuro-meany, that's no way to talk to your elders."

"I'll keep that in mind when you start acting your age. I put my kids in bed, are yours asleep?"

It took Fai a moment to understand what the hell they were talking about. Why were they talking in the first place? Then he remembered that Kurogane always put the older kids to sleep, while Fai read stories to the little one. He also remembered that it was Christmas and as tight as those leather pants were on Kurogane's ass, some things were more important.

"Yeah, I did, a while ago. I was just finishing some paperwork for—"

"Whatever. I have presents in the car. We should bring them in before anyone wakes up to go potty or some shit like that."

Fai felt a swelling in his chest. They were almost to the car when Fai whispered, suddenly guilty, "You don't have to do that you know." He should call Yuuko again; tell her to bring something for the kids. Anything. It was their responsibility.

"Of course I know, but the Daitoji's have a lot of money and a big heart. They don't mind. Most of it is from my own allowance anyway."

Kurogane opened the trunk full of presents and something childish clawed at Fai's heart: envy, jealousy, possessiveness….

"You should spend that money on yourself." Fai smirked darkly, "With how handsome you've gotten I'm sure the girls are practically begging for dates."

"Like I care," snapped Kurogane, slightly uncomfortable.

"Oh, so they are begging!"

"Shut up!"

"Do they get down on their knees when they beg?"

Kurogane turned sharply, fully intending to smack the idiot bastard over the head for teasing. But his head wasn't there. The idiot's head was right in front of Kurogane's crotch.

"What the fuck are you doing?"

"Isn't this what you wanted? Coming in here with that leather and that look… those weren't for the kids were they?"

"Idiot, get up. We have shit to do!" Kurogane fought against the blush. He was a man now and men didn't blush, damn it. That's what this was all about, wasn't it?

The blond ghosted his lips over the bulge in Kurogane's pants, his hands reaching up to run his thumbs at the tan stomach barely peaking from underneath the jacket. The teen's hips seemed so much smaller from this angle, his face so much more innocent with that blushing red.

Fai grabbed the teen's ass through the leather, his nails digging. Kurogane bit his tongue to stop whatever protest might have been crawling up his skin, like goose bumps that felt both good and bad. Fai unzipped Kurogane's pants and spent as much time as possible teasing at the barely visible cotton boxers. He breathed against them, nuzzled and caressed, until he could feel the full harness of the teen's member.

"Take them off!" barked the breathless teen, as the tightness of the leather become more and more painful. Fai didn't listen though, pushing the pants down just one inch, barely enough to ghost his fingers at edge of the teen's butt crack.

Kurogane shivered and cursed under his breath. In a flash, his fist was threaded painfully in the blonde's hair. He jerked the idiot's head back forcefully to stare daggers at the insufferable man, "Stop teasing!"

Fai's seductive confidence faltered under the intense redness of that glare. Little Kuro-chan was all grown up, huh?

"Yes, sir." In a second, Fai pulled Kurogane's pants and boxers all the way down and the young teen yelped at the rush of cold air against his privates.

The teen barely had enough time to put in a quick, "Bastard!" before Fai toke Kurogane's length completely in his mouth. The wet heat after the bout of cold toke Kurogane by surprise; his breath caught. Fai was bobbing his head in smooth long motions, his tongue licking, lips sucking. The wetness only made the cold worse and the heat so much more searing.

Fuck winter, Kurogane intended to say but only got a meek "F-fuck—!" out of his lips before the blond was sucking harshly at the tip of his member. Kurogane could feel the idiot's smirk around his cock before the bastard pulled back with an obscene 'pop!'

"Yes, sir."

The blond cupped Kurogane's butt cheeks and the warmth sent shivers up Kurogane's spine. For a blissful moment, Kurogane hoped the man was finally going to take him, right there in the cold. But he didn't. Instead he pushed the teen's hips forward and back, timing the motion with the sucking. In, out, in, out, longer, faster, sucking harsher and harsher—

Fai grabbed Kurogane's ass and pulled him forwards, deep-throating him completely. In a haze, Kurogane thrust once, twice, and came.

Kurogane could hear his blood pounding in his veins, eyes lost in the black expanse of night sky above them. He felt it as Fai sucked the last drops of cum from his limp cock, and shivered when the warmth disappeared from around his member. He felt his pants being pulled up again, heard the zipper, saw Fai's brilliant hair shine white in the moonlight, felt his heart swell as the older man lay his blond head against his chest and hugged him close.

Fai hugged Kurogane hard, his fingers grasping as he buried his face against the teen's disappointingly cold jacket. "You're mine," he whispered into the cold.

Kurogane blinked out of his post-orgasm bliss and stared fixedly at the tuft of hair shivering against his chest. He pulled his hand up to push the idiot's chin up while he brushed the blond hair out of the man's face.

Something in Kurogane's chest clenched painfully. Of course, only the idiot could possibly cry after something as awesome as sex!

"Of course I'm yours, idiot!"

Fai tried to look away and miserably whispered, "Forever…?"

"Isn't that what you want?"

"Of course! It's just that you– you're growing older…" Fai's voice broke as tears flooded his vision "You have a life now, you're not trapped here anymore, you can live and date and m–marry. I'm just holding you back."

Kurogane smiled softly and for a blind instant Fai was gripped with fear. He was right, Kurogane was going to leave h—

Kurogane kissed him, softly at first, but without a single bit of hesitation. He tugged at each of his lips in turn, softly and then more strongly as he gripped either side of Fai's face and pulled him close. He pushed his body flush against the blonde's, wrapping his arms securely around the man's thin shoulders and waist. He deepened the kiss until it almost felt like their lips were one entity. Fai responded hesitantly at first, shivering with fear that soon became pleasure, his body understanding the teen's message before his mind managed to process it.

You're mine.

Shit! That's probably the Play Station. It cost a lot!

We'll blame the cat.

You don't have a cat.

I'm a cat!

Okay, no! Not here. We are not getting jizz on the kids' presents!

Let's run away together.

And leave the place to the dogs? I don't think so.

Then I'll work here with you. As soon as I finish school, just like you did.

Kuro-silly, those guys have enough of a problem with homosexuals adopting orphans. What do you think they'll do to a couple running a whole orphanage?

It doesn't matter, as long as the kids understand.

How could they…?

These kids understand more about love than those geezers ever could. We did too, at that age, it was all we ever wanted. Family, love, not to feel alone ever again…

Thank you.

For what?

No, sorry. I was thinking… it was a horrible thought. Forget I said anything.

You know I won't. Be honest. What is it?

I was…. I was just…. Thank you for coming into my life when you did. I don't mean to be thankful your parents dying or anything like that. You know I wouldn't. It's just that if you hadn't shown up just then, I don't know what I'd have done. You know with Yu—. Sorry, I shouldn't have—

Yeah I know. I know what you mean too, so don't apologize. In the way these things go, if it was fate for my parents to die, I'm glad it happened when it did. If only because it brought me to you… Hey, Remember when I first showed up?

You were going to bite Yuuko-san's finger right off.

I thought she was completely nuts when she bunked me up with someone as lanky as you.

You had the strength of five men, even at that age.

But you didn't fight me at all. You knew exactly what to say.

"They're not gone. Love is too—"

"—strong to ever die." They continued together, as they always will.


End file.
